My first two weeks in a new city. I moved the 1300 miles down to Houston, Texas from Virginia and I thought I would love it. I love the area, I love the people. But I don’t want to be where I am. For some weird reason, I want to be back where I was. In the Shenandoah Valley, in my little bedroom that was just barely to expensive for me, but it was mine. Not so far from my friends, my dance partner, my weekly and monthly dances. None of that is mine anymore though, and maybe one day I would be ok with that, but today is not that day.
I have a few friends that write, and as far as I know, my writing is not nearly as eloquent as theirs (you know who you are :P), but I figured this was a good way to get everything out of my head. We all know it’s not good to let things simmer in your mind. You start to overthink, and I don’t need that.
I had no real reason to leave Virginia. I had a job that paid my bills (albeit with not much at all left over), friends (that I didn’t see nearly as much as I should have, or wanted), a wonderful boyfriend (who mutually agreed that at the current time, we weren’t as good for each other as we used to be, but is now an amazing friend), and a roof over my head. All in all, I was doing fine. Not great, but emotionally very well off, but I figured a change of scenery after 25 years in Virginia would do me well.
So far the area is great, the people are friendly, and the dance community is amazing, but my friends and family aren’t here. My lifestyle isn’t this. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I’ve made plenty of difficult decisions. I don’t know what I’m planning yet. Find a new place on my own with a decent job, give it 6 months to decide if this is just a “phase”, or wimp out now, and find a way back to Virginia. The feeling of wanting to go back is almost a physical pain that won’t completely go away. Only while I’m dancing does it ebb enough for me to almost want to stay.
My every few days video chats with one of my closest friends has been amazingly helpful, and always having someone willing to talk to me is always great, but I miss the face to faces.
I put in four job applications yesterday, and met a few new people at a dance last weekend that I am attending again this Sunday evening. I have a dance tonight that I hope will go well. I haven’t found a new church yet. I’m worried that I may not find one I liked as much as where I went back in Virginia, but all I can do is keep looking. Anyway, the dance starts at 7pm tonight and I should be getting ready. I’m hoping I can meet some new people and make new opportunities 🙂